Not for the Faint Hearted

Bet you figured you could open that nice new book, Now I Lay Me Down To Reap, with verve and aplomb tonight in your bed.  Nothing's going to scare you.  Right?

Guess again.

To my gentle reader I give you words of warning:

Before you open even the first page, I suggest you surround yourself with every single monster defeating piece of arsenal from your earliest childhood memories.  Right down to that monster evading blue furry blanket you used to pull over your head.  Light up every lamp in your room.  Better still, check the batteries on all the flashlights you've stockpiled in your night table.  Fill up that monster-away atomizer and place it near at hand.  Close the closet door.  Tuck your feet up into your blanket so nothing under the bed can grab you and pull you down to monsterland.  Close your eyes for a moment and identify all the regular creaks and sighs of your domain, 'cause you won't be able to after...


See, we, the writers, want to take you down the scariest of memory lanes.  We aim to unsettle you, twist your dreams, hold you by that single strand over the abyss by remembering, through our words, those stories that scared the pants off you in your formative years.  'Cause those monsters of yesteryear still have the power to raise the hair on the back of our necks.

We'll walk with you, hold your hand for a little while.  And then, just as you reach the darkest hour of our campfire tales, we'll disappear, leaving you to calm your stomach, swallow that lump and face your worst nightmares all over again.

Enjoy!

You can purchase the book at any of the below sites:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008ZKA41M
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B008ZKA41M
http://www.amazon.it/dp/B008ZKA41M
http://www.amazon.it/dp/B008ZKA41M
http://www.amazon.fr/dp/B008ZKA41M
http://www.amazon.es/dp/B008ZKA41M
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008ZKA41M
https://www.createspace.com/3937305
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/213699
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/now-i-lay-me-down-to-reap-christian-a-larsen/1112696992?ean=9780615683331

 

Still Healing After All This Time

Here it is September 2012.  Almost a whole year after the accident.  My family doc keeps telling me I will get better, maybe.  But it will be a slow process.

And yes, I am still feeling the effects.  No, I'm not still a whole-body after-effect.  I can function almost normally again. 

That's the key.  Almost!

August 26th saw my first day of waking without a headache.  The headache didn't come back until I'd been up several hours, so it isn't gone entirely. 

But it is a first.

And my poor right hand is slowly strengthening.  It doesn't cramp continuously anymore.  Now I can write for a couple of hours before it goes into full cramp mode. 

I did ask my doc about these cramps.  He told me that it is a muscle spasm connected to a nerve running through my shoulder that probably got damaged during the accident.

You think?

I never had my hand hurt like this before.  Not even when I suffered from mild carpal tunnel syndrome about 12 years ago.  That time I had numb fingers.  I did my exercises, rested my hand, kept my wrist, religiously, in the 'proper' positions and got better.  At least I thought I'd gotten better.  I hadn't had any numbness for years.

But my litany of pains stays.  Almost as if they don't want to heal.

My shoulders ache most of the time.  My neck cracks constantly.  My hand is useless after a period of time typing (getting longer though) and it has almost no strength - do you know how hard it is to use a can-opener without your right hand?  My neck still doesn't move properly.  So shoulder checking while driving is still a hit and miss movement.  And somedays, especially if I've been busy the day before, my head feels like it weighs a ton!

I have not gained any weight.  I check daily.  But my body tone is gone.  I look like a middle aged woman rather than the sleek, slim look I always had before.   The accident caused this!  I haven't the energy to go for my long walks.  I can't horseback ride.  Throwing the ball for my dog is no longer possible.  My backswing cannot swing, so golf is out.  And swimming?  I take a noodle into the pool now, as I don't have the strength to even tread water let alone swim lengths. 

My house is a disaster!  Vacuuming takes arm movements, which I no longer have and the noise exacerbates the tinnitus giving me a worse headache.  Dusting takes arm strength and movement.  Washing walls again takes movement I can't keep up with.  I can't even open the toilet cleaner container!

I act.  I think I've said that before.  When I have a day's work, I rest the day before so I have the energy for the day's work.  The day after I rest again.  I don't have any choice.  My body has used up its stored energy.

Cooking - one of my favourite chores - takes forever.  We've always liked stir fries.  Cutting up all the pieces can take all day now.  Not that I can chew it very well.  Cause yes, my jaw still aches.  I can chew a little so we aren't on pure invalid food any longer.  But I didn't have barbequed steak this summer.  Hamburger - without the buns - was the extent of my forays into summer foods.  And now corn on the cob is out at every parking lot.   And I can't indulge!
I'm glad it's almost fall.  We can go back to stews and chowders without the family complaining about wanting 'real' food.

I'm beginning to feel I will never get back to what I had before.